Subject: What?! Sister Mary was asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they wanted to be when they grew up. Little Jane raised her hand and when asked to answer said, "When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!" Sister Mary's eyes grew wide and she asked very loud and upset, "What did you say?!" "A prostitute!" Little Jane repeated. Sister Mary breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Thank God! I thought you said a Protestant" ====================================================================== Subject: Irish Two guys sitting in a bar. One says "where are you from?". The other says, "I'm from Ireland". " Well that is amazing", his friend says, "I'm from Ireland too, bartender, give us a drink". He them says, " where in Ireland, what town?" " Dublin" he replied. "How about that that he replied, I'm from Dublin also, bartender, give us a drink." "Where in Dublin, what school did you go to?" he asked. "St. Johns school in the south of Dublin" his friend says. "Fantastic" his friend says, that is where I went to school, bartender, give us a drink. When did you graduate?" "1962" he says. Hey, that is when I graduated, bartender give us a drink." About that time another customer come into the bar and says, "what is going on tonight?" The bartender says, "nothing much, the O'Rilley twins are here and drunk again". ====================================================================== Subject: Polish There is report of a 2 seater private plane which crashed into a large cemetary in Poland. The Polish Fire Dept has reported recovering over 300 bodies and are still digging..... ====================================================================== Subject: Pope A gentleman had been trying for years to meet the Pope. Finally, his wish was granted. When the gentleman approached the Pope he said, "Your Eminence, I am so happy to be given this chance to speak with you and I would like to tell you a joke before I start." The Pope replied, "Of course my son. Go ahead and tell your joke." The gentleman continued, "There were these two Pollacks and..." The Pope interrupted, "My son, do you realize that I am Polish?" "I'm sorry, your Eminence, I'll speak slower . . ." ====================================================================== Subject: Chickens Two West Virginians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one West Virginian says, "Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?" "Jus' some chickens." "If I guess how many there are, can I have one?" "I'll give you both of them." "OK. Umm, five?" ====================================================================== Subject: Governor's mansion Did you hear that the governor's mansion in West Virginia burned down? Almost took out the whole trailer park. ====================================================================== Women Drivers!! I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on I-635, I look over to my left and there's this woman in a Mustang doing 75 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eye liner! I look away for a couple seconds and when I look back, she's halfway over in my lane. Scared me so bad I almost dropped my electric shaver in my coffee.
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jonesla06@aol.com
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